Author Kaycee Jane Offers Advice to Girls About Boyfriends

When I started to date in high school I didn’t know anything about what to expect from a boyfriend, which meant that determining what was good and not so good in a relationship wasn’t all that easy. Thank heavens I’ve learned a lot since then, and I’ve spent time talking with my daughters about healthy relationships. Even so, I think it’s too easy for them to tune their mom out sometimes. That’s why I was happy to learn about this blog post by Kaycee Jane, author of Frog or Prince? The Smart Girl’s Guide to Boyfriends. In her post “Healthy Relationship?—how to tell,” Kaycee discusses signs of a healthy relationship using the frog and prince analogy. It’s worth reading and sending the link to your teenage daughter. A gentle nudge with another voice may just help her see relationships for what they are—good or bad.

Grown in My Heart Features Book by Book

I’m thrilled that Book by Book: The Complete Guide to Creating Mother-Daughter Book Clubs is featured at Grown in My Heart, An Adoption Network. As the article says, “Family is all about connections,” and so are mother-daughter book clubs. You can also expect to find other parenting information at Grown in My Heart, not just support for adoptive parents and information on adoption. You can also find food and craft ideas as well as giveaways and more. And if you are an adoptive parent or planning to adopt, you’ll find lots of supportive information. It’s a great all around site to check out.

Volunteering with Kids

This week Catherine is working on several projects for the Oregon Humane Society. She’s on her way to logging 40 hours to earn her Girl Scout Silver Award. She’s doing the work, of course, but that doesn’t mean I get a free pass to work on my projects while she’s working on hers. She’s sewing blankets for kitties, which means frequent problem solving with the sewing machine since she’s a novice at sewing. So we work on it together to some degree.

While she’s working on this project for Girl Scouts not as part of book club, I know many members of mother-daughter book clubs who choose to volunteer together and have a great time when they do. Some of them even start younger than I would have guessed was a good age, eight years old, and let their kids be in charge of planning.

As a mom, I know how difficult it can be sometimes to stand back and let the kids be in charge. Activities tend to be messier and less organized when the younger set is calling the shots. But I see a real advantage to it as well, especially with volunteering. Kids can build confidence while seeing that they can make a difference in their community. I definitely saw that with my older daughter Madeleine and her friends when they volunteered (again through Girl Scouts) to work with Habitat for Humanity last spring. The girls worked slowly, but they gained a lot of confidence learning to swing a hammer and hang drywall in a home where a needy family was soon to move in.

I think it’s most important to let the kids be in charge when deciding what kind of project to take on and how much they want to be involved. Getting this kind of buy in is most likely to lead to a successfully finished project, because kids are more likely to stay interested until the end.

If you’re looking for volunteer opportunities where you live, you may want to check out your local United Way, which often keeps a database of volunteer opportunities. I’ve also found great information using VolunteerMatch.org.

Are You Reading a Hot Dog or Foie Gras?

Last week my daughter Madeleine and I headed down to the University of Oregon for her orientation. I’m still not truly believing she’ll be leaving home this fall, but I’m sure I’m not the only mom in denial. In fact, the university caters to us parents about to send our kids into the world, even offering a talk called “Teaching Your Ducklings to Fly.” (It’s also a pretty cute play on words since the U of O mascot is a duck.)

I was very impressed with a seminar for parents only called The Art of Reading. While our children were signing up for fall classes, (parents aren’t even allowed in the room with them) a group of about 15 moms and dads gathered in the library to talk with an English professor about rediscovering how to read for meaning.

I was there with Karen and Janelle, two other moms in my mother-daughter book club, and we happily soaked up some new thoughts on reading. One thought in particular stood out from the day:

Choosing a book and choosing what to eat can be a lot alike. Sometimes you are hungry and you just want to eat a hot dog to fill you up. You don’t need anything fancy, because any food will do at the moment. Those tend to be what I think of as books that you can easily pick up and put down without losing the main thread of the story. They’re usually fun, maybe even a guilty pleasure. Some titles I have read recently in that category include Lipstick Apology by Jennifer Jabaley and Runaround by Helen Hemphill. (Reviews to come soon.)

Other times, you’re more in the mood for a four-course gourmet meal. I just finished a book like that called Stone’s Fall by Iain Pears. It was nearly six hundred pages and I savored every page until the very satisfying ending. I’m also finishing up reading Empire by Gore Vidal to Madeleine. History-nerds that we are, we have looked forward to reading it every day, but savored it as we went along. We can’t wait to start reading Vidal’s follow up story, Hollywood. Soon I expect to read The Book Thief to Catherine, another book to linger over and appreciate.

I like applying the food analagy to books, because it helps me enjoy whatever I’m reading for the hunger it satisfies at the moment.

Dads Can Read With Their Daughters Too

The emphasis of this blog is on mother-daughter book clubs, but that doesn’t mean that dads shouldn’t spend time reading with their daughters too. I just ran across an excellent handbook available for download from the The Partnership for Reading. It’s called Dad’s Playbook: Coaching Kids to Read.

The Partnership for Reading is a collaborative effort by three federal agencies and the U.S. Department of Education. It says that “by taking the time to read to and with their children, fathers can play an important role in helping children learn to read. Dad’s Playbook tells the stories of 20 dads from different walks of life who are giving their kids the best shot at a bright future by helping them learn to read. This publication also teaches dads about the five skills children need to be readers by third grade and helps dads incorporate reading into everyday activities.”

It helps to have two parents committed to reading with their daughters and sons. If you’d like more information or want to download the handbook, visit: http://www.nifl.gov/partnershipforreading/.

New Book for “Amazing Girls”

I just found out about a new book being promoted by Girls Inc., which is a wonderful organization dedicated to inspiring girls to be “strong, smart and bold,” The book is called You’re Amazing! A No-Pressure Guide to Being Your Best Self and it was written by Claire Mysko for girls aged 9–12.

Here’s how the book is described on the Girls, Inc. Web site (http://girlsinc.org).

“Inspired by The Supergirl Dilemma report, in which more than 1,000 girls shared their stories of feeling pressure to be perfect, You’re Amazing! is a girl’s guide to giving up the quest to be “super” and to start celebrating what makes her amazing. Packed with Girls Inc. activities, quizzes, insight from girls and older teens, and advice from women role models, the book gives girls the tools and tips to feel good about who they are. You’re Amazing! addresses the issues challenging girls today—from family to school to crushes to the future—and encourages girls to find the inner voice that makes them unique, special, and above all, amazing.”

Girls Inc. also asked a mother-daughter duo to talk about their thoughts on the book. You can listen to what they have to say by clicking this link: http://girlsinc.org/ic/page.php?id=2.4.46 and scrolling down to the special feature with a photo. You’ll also find reviews for the book on the same page.

I look forward to checking this book out with both my daughters.

Sign up for Mother-daughter Book Club Newsletter

The second edition of the Mother-daughter book club newsletter will be on the way in just a few days. There’s still time to sign up and receive the latest issue.

This month I’ll be featuring a review of Frank Cottrell Boyce’s new book Cosmic, and The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Mary E. Pearson. There’s also an interview with Heather Vogel Frederick, author of The Mother-Daughter Book Club, and a profile a the book club I’m in with my youngest daughter, Catherine.

Just click here to register.

Family Fun Magazine’s A Great Resource

I only make recommendations on this site for media that I believe can be truly helpful to your book club group and for parenting in general. Here’s a magazine I use for ideas about things to cook and activities to do with your child or your book club. It’s called Family Fun, and its Web site, familyfun.com is a good companion. It’s great for recipes, and over the years I’ve cooked many selections from the magazine’s pages then served them to my book club members. Shepherd’s pie, bread popovers, broccoli cheese soup…they were all hits. And they’re usually easy to prepare too, since directions are written to make it easy for kids to help out.

My youngest daughter always checks the Family Fun pages and the Web site when she’s trying to decide on a Halloween costume. And I get quite a few helpful ideas that have been submitted by readers, too.

Check it out the next time you need a boost in creativity.

Daughters – Great Parenting Newsletter

 

Featured in a recent e-mail announcement from Daughters newsletter was this comment about MotherDaughterBookClub.com: “…find loads of guidance at the Mother Daughter Book Club site for starting a tandem club (and dads, no reason you couldn’t do a Dad-Daughter club, too)˜founder Cindy Hudson, mom of two girls, will be giving details in an upcoming Daughters.”

I’ve been a subscriber to Daughters for years, and I’ve always gotten tons of very usable advice for raising my own daughters in each issue. I love the format too. At only 16 pages bi-monthly, it’s something I can easily read in the bits and pieces of time I have between working, volunteering and keeping my household running. And amazingly, it comes without advertising. I even save the back issues to reference later when I’m actually facing an issue with my daughters that was written about in the newsletter.

In the current issue I particularly liked the articles on girls and economic self-sufficiency and raising a daughter to be optimistic and resilient. So I’m very excited to be adding my name to the list of contributers to this publication I’ve gotten so much from through the years. Check out Daughters and see if you like it as much as I do by signing up for a free issue.